Girlfriend!
by Tabrina
Summary: Logan has some time to himself finally, and he's going to enjoy it! Slash -CRACKTACULAR-


It was a rarity for Logan to have the apartment to himself. Usually one of the other boys was there to ruin his alone time, and though their presence never bothered him, sometimes it was nice to be able to do anything he wanted without worrying who may over hear, and who may just be watching. So with that in mind, he closed the door to the room he shared with a certain bushy eyebrowed blonde, just in case someone were to come home without him hearing, and popped a certain cd in the stereo.

As he turned up the volume as loud as he dared, not wanting to disturb any other Palm Woods residents, he turned to the mirror, taking in his full appearance. Brown long curled wig sat atop his head, while his eyes stood out thanks to the smokey eye effect brought upon by his eyeshadow. His lips were a paler pink, more glossy than red than when Ms. Knight had dressed him up. One of Kendall's blue plaid shirts covered his frame, and a few socks stuffed the bra Ms. Knight had bought him for his trip to visit Nachee. A pair of his boxers finished the effect, and he himself thought he looked quite cute. He kind of looked like the girls you'd see in men's magazines, where they were wearing their boyfriends clothes, that sort of hung on him, and hey if they could pull it off looking cute so could he.

Of course, Kendall wasn't his boyfriend, but he was going to borrow his shirt and pretend anyway. He was never the best at flirting, but he was surprised Kendall hadn't caught onto his not so subtle staring, the way the boy would cling to him in certain situations, yet the boy remained oblivious. He was too interested in a certain blonde girl that was nice, but Logan had a slight distaste for, but he chalked that up to his jealousy. He had no real reason to dislike the girl, she was nice, funny, wasn't completely ridiculously girly like most girls at the Palm Woods, but when she held the affection of the boy he was currently pining over… it just seemed natural to dislike her.

As Logan held the remote of the cd player in his hand, he checked his appearance one more time in the mirror, and then his eyes drifted to the picture frame sitting just on his desk. A picture of Kendall and him, looking close as close could be and smiling like there was not a care in the world, and certainly not a Jo to bother them. So as he focused on that picture, he pressed the play button, allowing the music to flow through the room.

_Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend_

_No way, no way, I think you need a new one_

_Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend _

Logan sauntered to the picture, his imagination in full swing as instead of that picture frame, the body of Kendall stood before him, seeming just a little more than amazed. Wagging his finger at Kendall a small pout on his lips, as when he pressed up close to the boy, he ran his finger under his chin, before turning on his heel and walking away again.

_Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me_

_No way, no way, you know it's not a secret_

_Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend _

Logan flashed a smile over his shoulder at the star stuck blonde behind him, bringing his finger before his glossed and pouted lips in a 'quiet' motion, before spinning back around, running his hand down his flat stomach as he continued mouthing the words.

_You're so fine, I want you mine, you're so delicious_

_I think about you all the time, you're so addictive_

_Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright?_

_Alright, alright, alright _

As Logan began a slow pace back towards the boy, he let his tongue run along his lips, not minding the strawberry flavor that sprang across his taste buds due to the lip gloss. Leaning onto his toes to reach the boy he licked a strip up the boys neck to his ear where he whispered a few of the lyrics into his ear. Following a trail down the boys body, gently biting at the material of Kendall's very obvious jean covered bulge.

_Don't pretend, I think you know I'm damn precious_

_And hell yeah, I'm the motha'fucking princess_

_I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right_

_I'm right, I'm right, I'm right_

As Logan spun away from Kendall, his back pressed up against the taller boy's form, tilting his head back, watching the way Kendall's face was flushed, and his breathing slightly erratic, as Logan pursed his lips in a kiss at him. Spinning back around quickly, he placed a kiss on the boy's cheek, having to hold back a small chuckle as Kendall's cheek was now flushed, and had a glittery, glossy kiss mark.

_She's like so whatever_

_You could do so much better_

_I think we should get together now_

_And that's what everybody's talking about_

As Logan walked away, he turned his palm up towards Kendall, clearly doing his best impression of the 'talk to the hand' symbol the Jennifers liked to use so much, before flipping his long brown curls over his shoulder as he turned back towards Kendall.

_I can see the way, I see the way you look at me_

_And even when you look away I know you think of me_

_I know you talk about me all the time again and again_

_And again and again and again_

Logan smiled as he looked directly into Kendall's bright green eyes, pupils dilated, and Logan couldn't help but take some pride in knowing he was the one causing it. As he placed a small finger on Kendall's chin, turning his head away from him, as Logan whispered the lyrics once again into his ear, relishing the way the boy's body was wracked with a shiver even in the heat of the California summer.

_So come over here and tell me what I wanna hear_

_Better yet, make your girlfriend disappear_

_I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again_

_And again and again and again_

Taking one step back from Kendall, he curled his finger at him, in a clear 'come hither' motion, watching as Kendall began stepping towards him. As Kendall brought them chest to chest again, wrapping his arms around Logan's smaller frame, Logan placed his finger against Kendall's lips, wishing that that one motion would cause Jo's name to be forever forgotten from his mind.

_Oh, in a second you'll be wrapped around my finger_

_Woo, 'cause I can, cause I can do it better_

_There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?_

_Hey, she's so stupid, just what were you thinking?_

Grabbing at Kendall's shirt, he twisted the fabric around his finger, pulling it up a bit to trail the fingers of his other hand down the muscled stomach, to coast over the fine blonde hair trailing into his jeans. Before unhooking the material of Kendall's shirt from his finger to playfully tap at Kendall's temple, earning a smirk from the taller boy.

_Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend_

_No way, no way, I think you need a new one_

_Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend_

_No way, no wayHey, hey, I know that you like me_

_No way, no way, you know it's not a secret_

_Hey, hey, I want to be your girlfriend_

_No way, no way, no way, no way _

As the music started to lower, so did Kendall's lips, as he brought his head closer to Logan's, their lips mere seconds from touching. That was until the Kendall, Logan had just been about to share a mind blowing kiss was gone, and the sound of clapping could be heard instead. Whipping his head to the left, Logan's face went red as a Christmas bulb when he saw Kendall leaning against the frame of their door, a smirk on his face as he clapped his hands, apparently amused by Logan's little show. Logan would have began to wipe the make up off, would have thrown off the bra, and the wig, and Kendall's shirt, had he not been frozen to the spot, watching as Kendall walked up to him slowly. He wished there was suddenly an earthquake and he could fall through a crack and into the center of the earth, but of course his luck just wasn't that good.

Logan flinched as Kendall raised his hand towards him, half expecting to get slugged in the face, even though the rational part of his brain knew that Kendall would never do that, his fear and embarrassment was winning over every other emotion. Yet when he felt Kendall's fingers twist around a curl in his wig, he dared open his eyes slowly, noticing that Kendall's eyes were looking straight into his, and that damn smirk, and those dimples seemed unreadable.

"Ya know, you make a really cute girl," Kendall began, causing Logan's face to heat up exponentially, and Logan could even feel the tips of his ears warming. "But," as Kendall spoke, he gave a sharp tug to the wig, causing it to fall away from Logan's head, and fall to the floor below. Had Logan not been so entranced by Kendall, he may have complained that it was going to tangle that way. "I think I'd rather a boyfriend, than a girlfriend." Logan had less than a second to process what Kendall was talking about before the taller boy had leaned down a bit to capture his lips.

The kiss was simple, and was tentative, no clashing of teeth, no overly wet tongues, just hesitant ones testing the waters so to speak. Kendall had to practically coax Logan's tongue to meet his own, and the taste of strawberry was overwhelming thanks to Logan's lip gloss. As Kendall began to pull away, Logan couldn't help the small smile at the way Kendall's lips sparkled from where Logan's lip-gloss had transferred during their kiss.

"Now why don't you show me what it is that 'you can do so much better.'" So Logan proceeded to do just that, multiple times, and multiple ways.

* * *

PFFFFTTT SERIOUSLY! What is wrong with me? One of you has to know. Honestly, I was lying in my bed, listening to my music on shuffle, this song popped up, and the image of Logan dancing around in his wig popped into my head and then well…. This happened. This is probably the most cracktacular thing I've written in the BTR fandom.

Oh well, I hope you at least got a laugh at the UTTER ridiculousness of this. Until next time my loverlies.


End file.
